


Quiet Intelligence and Loud Chaos

by thx4thevenombby



Series: Trouble Like This Series [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AUTHOR AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bondage, Fluff and Angst, M/M, also hajime and gundham, nagito makes a surprise appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 16:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13838631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thx4thevenombby/pseuds/thx4thevenombby
Summary: Shuichi is surprised that he doesn't yet regret his decision to let Kokichi move in with him. Things seem to be going almost... too well. And now that Kokichi's discovered Shuichi's secret passion for writing mystery novels, he's starting to wonder when something is going to even out the scale and go wrong.





	Quiet Intelligence and Loud Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my fic "Trouble Like This." I'd recommend reading it before this one, just so that the story makes a bit more sense, but I'll provide a brief recap, just in case: Shuichi pays Kokichi to pretend to be his boyfriend for a work retreat, and the two end up developing feelings for each other but split ways, anyway. A month or so later, Kokichi reappears at Shuichi's doorstep with hypothermia, and after a brief hospital visit, they realize living without each other was harder than they thought.  
> Thank you to everyone who left kind comments on the last fic, it really meant a lot <3 I hope that this one is alright!

                Shuichi had thought he’d regret his decision to let Kokichi stay with him at least once after the butterflies died out, but he’d been wrong. He wasn’t wrong that Kokichi could be a terrible person to live with sometimes, but he’d been wrong in thinking that the butterflies he got around him were ever going to go away. Luckily, Kokichi wasn’t even as bad as he’d thought. He was tidy and somehow seemed to understand when Shuichi needed things to be quiet and although he complained constantly, nearly all of his complaints were just jokes. Shuichi was beginning to wonder how he’d ever lived without someone like Kokichi.

                After they’d returned from the hospital and Shuichi had finally faced the decision he’d been trying to make since he’d met Kokichi, the shorter man had kissed him. It was hard to tell when Kokichi was being serious, most times, but right then Shuichi was confident he really was happy and that gave him a light feeling in his chest that he didn’t know if he’d ever have the words for. It had been easy for him to move in, and because he was still ill, he’d been considerably easier to manage than usual for the first week. But now that the dust was beginning to settle, Shuichi was worried things would return to being strained.

                Kokichi was lounging on the couch, reading a book he’d picked up from one of Shuichi’s many bookshelves, focused on the psychology and strategy of famous dictators. It was an interesting read, but his mind was elsewhere. It had been a full week and he was still surprised by Shuichi’s offer and he was starting to wonder when it would turn out to be some big joke. For one thing, he was starting to get self-conscious. _Nothing_ could surprise Kokichi Ouma and yet, this emo idiot had somehow managed to keep the suspense going for _a week_. Not to mention, Kokichi still couldn’t fit him into a category to save his life. He was nice and generous, _but_ he also knew when to call Kokichi out and he got assertive sometimes. He was serious and moody but also joked around and had a strangely calming effect on Kokichi. He had a good job and read difficult books but then somehow managed to be one of the most oblivious people on Earth. The only thing Kokichi’d been able to pin down about him was that he couldn’t be pinned down.

                Shuichi glanced up at him from his chair across the room. “You’ve bookmarked every book I have that mentions dictators. Should I be worried?” He raised a thin eyebrow.

                “Hmm..... No. I’ll tell them to spare you when I finish my necromancy spells.” Kokichi mumbled over the book. Shuichi snorted. “Besides, I’m not even into dictatorships. Meritocracies are the true ideal.”

                “That’s not fair at all, Kokichi. You can’t determine who votes and who doesn’t.” Shuichi frowned and crossed his arms, but Kokichi stood his ground.

                “If they’re dumb, I should. You have too much trust in human nature.” He wished he could be as optimistic as Shuichi. “Besides, it’s better to do good for people without them knowing. That’s easier in meritocracies.” He shrugged and set the book down, watching the taller man lazily. He had a strange look in his eyes. “What?”

                “I was just thinking about how smart you are.” Shuichi dismissed the question and stood up. “Speaking of which, I was thinking of going to the art museum today, want to join me?”

                Kokichi sat straight up like a pin, eyes wide and mouth quirking up. _Oh no_ , Shuichi though, _what did I do to get him excited?_ His purple eyes gleamed and he tilted his head as he spoke to Shuichi. “The art museum? My beloved Saihara... is this a _date_?” Kokichi looked up through his lashes.

                “Well... when you phrase it that way, I guess it kind is.” He nodded. Shuichi had just sort of assumed they were together but apparently it took a date to make it official in Kokichi’s eyes. Or maybe it was the-

                “And your coworkers won’t be there to witness it?”

                “Er, no. It’s a Sunday, they’re probably at home.”

                “So Shuichi really does wanna go on a date with me!” Kokichi said it in a way that almost sounded like gloating. This would be their first _real_ date. No one getting paid and no one faking it for work. A smile played on Shuichi’s lips and while he didn’t respond to Kokichi, he could see the clear eyes of his boyfriend notice the subtle change in his demeanor and grin in response.

 

* * *

 

 

                “Shuichi, there’s one I really want you to see, come on.” Kokichi whined, dragging him along. Shuichi was surprised Kokichi had a favorite painting, but then again, he’d learned not to try and predict too much about him. Kokichi pointed to a painting of a snowy street with tall buildings and a few people mulling about. He stared at it for a second with a neutral expression and then turned around, grinning. “I painted that one.”

                “Unless you changed your name from Paul Signac, I don’t think so.” Shuichi raised an eyebrow, laughing a little. Kokichi pouted.

                “How do you even know who painted it?” He asked, turning back to look at the painting.

                “I come here a lot. You’re also standing right in front of the plaque.” Shuichi pointed behind him, where Kokichi read the full description closely, eyes following the words. He hummed a quiet response and turned away from Shuichi to continue looking around. Shuichi watched him, instead of the art. He could go to the museum, anytime, but Kokichi was a more limited offer. He wasn’t even sure how long the shorter man planned on sticking around. Behind that quiet intelligence, there was a much louder chaos that Shuichi knew he couldn’t predict. So, he didn’t try to. When they reached the end, they went out for dinner, with Kokichi talking all the while.

               

* * *

 

 

“So, why do you go there so much?” Kokichi asked as they got their table. Shuichi frowned, but it seemed like the other had already predicted his response. “Don’t say it’s for the art. I’ve read all your books, Shuichi. Art’s not really your thing. So why do you go the museum so much?”

                “You’ll just make fun of me.” Shuichi shook his head and looked through the menu. Kokichi gasped in feigned offense.

                “Me?! Make fun of someone? Oh, Shuichi, I wouldn’t dare! How cruel of you!” Kokichi’s voice managed to reach surprising emotional depths, but Shuichi knew better than to be too confused by it. Kokichi noticed and dropped the act, his face suddenly serious and interested as he leaned closer. “I won’t, I promise.”

                Shuichi hesitated, but finally sighed and let up at Kokichi’s expectant stare. “I’ve been working on a book. A... a, um, mystery novel. It’s about an art heist, so I’ve just been trying to get some research in.” Shuichi scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

                “Aw, really? That’s cool! Can I be the thief in it?” He bounced in his seat, exuberance and cheerfulness suddenly back in full force. Shuichi just grinned in response as their server arrived to take their orders. _Kokichi would make a good villain_ , Shuichi thought and then frowned, _no, scratch that. He’d make a good antihero. I can’t see him being genuinely bad._ They began eating soon, and to Shuichi’s surprise, Kokichi was avidly interested in his book, asking questions and listening carefully to every response. The more he saw Kokichi genuinely conveying his emotions, the more he felt like he knew him. The server came again to clear their plates and Shuichi suddenly felt something graze his thigh and settle there with a comfortable weight. Kokichi’s hand. He looked over at the other boy, but he was feigning being oblivious. Or maybe it was genuine. Shuichi couldn’t tell. They waited for the check and continued talking until Shuichi felt the hand creep up higher and his breath hitched. He grabbed Kokcihi’s wrist and stopped him.

                “Not right now.” He whispered, glancing around the restaurant. Kokichi’s eyes were playful.

                “Sorryyyy. I didn’t mean to misbehave.” Kokichi winked, knowing right where to hit with his words and Shuichi mumbled a quiet rebuttal. Because of the sudden flirting, Shuichi expected Kokichi to pounce on him the moment they were home, but instead he grabbed Shuichi’s laptop from his workbag before he could stop him. “Where’s your book? I wanna read it.” Kokichi was searching through files excitedly and Shuichi was starting to regret telling him.

                “Erm, you really don’t need to read it, Kokichi.”

                “Hmmm... You sound awfully suspicious, Shuichi. Is it secretly erotica?” Kokichi grinned playfully. “Huh? Is it? Is it?”

                “No.” Shuichi sighed and tried to grab his computer back, but Kokichi dodged quickly.

                “I bet you’d let Kaito read it. Or Kaede. I bet they’ve already read it, like, a hundred times. But Shuichi doesn’t care enough about me to let me read it.” Kokichi pouted, trying to decide if he should start the fake tears or not. Shuichi shook his head.

                “They haven’t. Here, if you want to read it so badly, I’ll let you.” Shuichi finally got a hold of his laptop and opened the right file. Kokichi swayed in his seat on the couch.

                “It better not be boring, okay?”

                “You’re the one who wanted to read it!” Shuichi shook his head and handed the computer back to Kokichi. He knew he didn’t want to hear the embarrassing and probably critical remarks. Kokichi’s brutal comments were usually useful, but when it came to his own writing, he didn’t want to hear them. It was embarrassing enough letting someone else read it. He retreated to his room and talked to Kaito for a while about work. He read and did Sudoku and got caught up on the news. But a strange anxiety was starting to burn within him. The house had only been this quiet since before Kokichi had waltzed into his life. It was already completely dark out and the shorter man still hadn’t come to bed or made any effort to tell Shuichi what he thought of his writing. Finally, the nervousness ate away at him to the point of breaking and he silently crept back into the living room.

                Kokichi was still sitting on the couch, scrolling and reading. His face wasn’t vicious or playful, which Shuichi took as a good sign. In fact, it was perfectly neutral, like water on a calm day. It was a rare expression on Kokichi, so Shuichi waited silently for a moment, taking it in. Until he felt a sneeze coming and stumbled into the living room, sneezing.

                “Bless you.” Kokichi mumbled over his shoulder. “How long were you gonna stand in the kitchen for, anyway?” He turned around to look at Shuichi, mischievous gleam back in his eyes. He’d known Shuichi was there the whole time?

                “Er, not long.” Shuichi shuffled awkwardly. “What do you think?”

                “Of the book?” Kokichi asked, playing dumb and tilting his head. Shuichi just nodded with a flat expression. “Hm. Not bad.” He shrugged and stood up. “Welllll, all that reading made me super tired so I’m gonna sleep now, night.” Kokichi walked to their bedroom without giving a second glance and Shuichi felt weirdly... disappointed. It wasn’t like Kokichi to give such a pithy response at all. He’d almost have rather him rant about it for twenty minutes than just give a single, simple remark. He tried to clear his head and went to their room, crawling into bed next to Kokichi, who was already asleep. “Hey! Shuichi!” He whispered, suddenly breaking from his sleep act.

                “Mhm?”

                “Can I use your car when you’re at work tomorrow?” Kokichi crawled on top of Shuichi, staring down at him with expectant eyes.

                “You can drive? Why have I been paying for you to take taxis?” Shuichi grumbled. Kokichi shrugged.

                “I never said I _liked_ driving. But I’m really good, I swear. I used to be a NASCAR driver, actually. But I had a real bad accident, like five people blew up I think, and-“

                “Was this before or after you were crowned king of that cannibal cult you mentioned at lunch, today?” Shuichi raised an eyebrow sarcastically. Kokichi giggled a quiet _nishishi_ and made a face like he was genuinely thinking about it.

                “Hm... After. But really, can I use the car?”

                “I really like my car...” Shuichi trailed off. He was fairly certain Kokichi didn’t even have a license and he’d even recently gotten work done on his car. Kokichi frowned and then leaned down, peppering Shuichi’s chest with kisses.

                “ _Pleeeeassseee_.”

                “Kokichi, remember when we talked about using our words to ask for things?” Sometimes Shuichi felt like he was dating a child, not a man his same age.

                “Please is a word, Shuichi.” Kokichi purred, tilting his head and running a hand along Shuichi’s cheek. His other hand played with Shuichi’s waistband playfully. Never fully dipping in, but brushing up against the sensitive skin on his hip. Shuichi trapped one of Kokichi’s hands with his own, surprising the smaller man into looking directly into his eyes.

                “What do you even need the car for, anyway?” He frowned. What was Kokichi up to?

                “Hmph. I think Shuichi’s scared I’m having an affair.” Kokichi pouted, crossing his arms, but still straddling Shuichi. Shuichi gave him a look.

                “Fine. But if you wanted money for a taxi, you could’ve just asked.” Shuichi watched Kokichi’s expressions carefully. His lies and motives were usually never truly revealed by them, but sometimes they gave just enough of a hint. Kokichi smiled warmly.

                “Thanks, Shuichi.” He sang, surprising him with a deep kiss. Kokichi always acted strange, but this was... especially out of character. He’d never bothered asking for taxi money before or showed any interest in the car. He usually evaded questions, but not this badly. Shuichi opened his mouth to ask Kokichi what was going on, but he seemed to notice and kissed him, again. Kokichi was rocking into Shuichi, being careful to allow just the right amount of friction to get Shuichi to stop asking him questions and start thinking about other things. Shuichi’s intellect made it hard to dodge his questions as well as Kokichi could other people, and he did not want anyone to have the satisfaction of knowing that it was hard for Kokichi to lie to them. No way.

                However, Shuichi didn’t seemed as “in the mood” that night, which worried Kokichi. Shuichi paid for everything and he was the caring one in the relationship. Without any reciprocation, he was bound to get tired of it sooner or later. Kokichi didn’t have money and his personality wasn’t something he could change overnight. He wasn’t really sure he wanted to, either. This personality protected him. So if it wasn’t affection or money, the only thing Kokichi could see Shuichi being in need of was sex. Luckily, that was something Kokichi could do. Sex before Shuichi had not been romantic or mutual very often, but it had been something that Kokichi could pull the strings of. He understood it and he knew the playing field. While sex with Shuichi also meant Kokichi getting slightly... derailed in his plans sometimes, it was still the same motions and idea. But if Shuichi was getting tired of the sex, then... Kokichi didn’t want to think about it. He turned his mind to the situation at hand and still painstakingly methodical in his actions, Kokichi gripped Shuichi through his sweatpants, eliciting a gasp that went straight to Kokichi’s dick. He started to reach into Shuichi’s pants, but for the second time, one of Shuichi’s pale hands stopped him. “You don’t have to, Kokichi.”

                “Hm?” He looked up, surprised. “Psh, why not?” He laughed off the surprise, careful not to show he hadn’t expected it. Even more careful not to show that it worried him. Shuichi blushed instantly, looking like he regretted stopping the other man, but his wrist remained closed around Kokichi’s thin wrist.

                “Well, I just though... Um, ‘cause you said you were tired, earlier. I just mean, um... nevermind.” Shuichi trailed off, running a hand through his hair and looking away. His face was still burning a tomato red.

                “No, what were you going to say?” Kokichi asked, lying back down beside Shuichi on the bed. Shuichi faltered, thinking over his words. Shuichi finally turned to look at him and brushed some purple hair out of his eyes.

                “I... I want to make sure that you know that you don’t need to...” Shuichi frowned, trying to articulate what he was thinking. He finally sighed. “I’m not a client, Kokichi. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. This isn’t something that you have to try and match everything I give you and vice versa. If you’re doing this because of the car, you really don’t need to. If you’re doing this because you want to have sex, that’s fine, but-“ Shuichi continued speaking, but Kokichi had tuned out. His heart was going to leap out of his chest and kill him. _How does he know what I’m thinking? Is he a government spy or something?_ Kokichi wondered, watching absently as Shuichi grew an even darker red trying to explain himself again. What Kokichi wanted to say was something that would mean as much to Shuichi as those words had to him. Open up to him or soothe his worries or do _something_. But instead, what came out of his mouth was,

                “Aw jeez, is the sex really that bad?” He laughed, fighting the urge to slap himself.

                “No, no! I mean, _no_ , um, it’s great! It’s really great! I just meant-“ Shuichi’s eyes were wide and he was shaking his head as some sort of secondary negation. _Cute. _ Kokichi thought. _He’s so cute_. Kokichi pulled Shuichi closer and buried his nose in his shoulder, breathing in the expensive cologne Shuichi had been wearing that day. Shuichi stopped stammering and put a protective hand on the back of Kokichi’s head, petting his hair gently. Shuichi had learned long ago that there were certain times where words weren’t the best option, and that was one of them. He could feel Kokichi’s soft breathing on his chest and see the rise and fall of his ribs. He left a kiss on Kokichi’s head and drifted into a comfortable sleep.

                When Kokichi awoke, Shuichi was at work. He got dressed and then grabbed the USB drive he’d hidden the night before. Shuichi had left money and a note on the island, telling him what time he’d be home. Kokichi opened the “secret” drawer and pulled out some more money. It was _technically_ stealing, but it would work out in the end, so Kokichi didn’t bother feeling too guilty. He plugged the USB into Shuichi’s PC and printed out his book, waiting impatiently for every single page to finish printing. He sighed and packed it up before heading out and finally hailing his taxi.

 

* * *

 

 

                The publications office was quiet, save the sound of keyboards typing and printers chugging. He waited and waited and _waited_ until the secretary finally let him through to speak with one of the people inside. He sat down at the desk and glanced at the name tag on it. Nagito Komaeda. He frowned and tapped his foot until a tall young man with wild hair strode in, apologizing profusely for the wait. Kokichi shook it off and handed him the manuscript. Nagito hesitated.

                “I really love how hopeful you are, but... well, we usually don’t do things like this. Short notice or without the author here. I hope you can forgive me, but I really don’t think we can-“

                “It could be the next Shakespeare for all you know.” Kokichi frowned and crossed his arms. “He’s not here because he’s too busy. There are three other publishers who want in but we wanted to give a smaller place a try.” Kokichi shook his head and put a hand on the table. Nagito’s face went serious.

                “I know that you’re lying, Mr. Ouma.” He frowned and Kokichi sat back, silently. That had even been a good lie. Believable, well-executed... This guy was good. Maybe he was a liar, too? Before Kokichi could fix his mistake, another man opened the door to the office. He wasn’t as tall as Nagito, but he was better kept -save for an unruly spike at the top of his brown hair.

                “Ah, Hajime-“ Nagito started, rubbing his neck and smiling pleasantly.

                “Nagito, I won’t ask again. Stop posting weird things on the website.” He frowned, looking very cross. Nagito’s eyes were half-lidded and he laced his fingers together over the desk.

                “I didn’t do anything to the website.” Nagito smiled warmly. Hajime looked even more frustrated. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nagito interrupted him. “Oh! Wait! Do you mean changing your bio?”

                “Yes!”

                “Sorry, wasn’t me.” Nagito shrugged and turned back to Kokichi. “As I was saying...” He trailed off as Hajime left, shutting the door behind him and looking very angry. Nagito smiled lightly, watching Hajime leave to fix whatever he’d done to set the company back.

                “If you don’t like working here, just quit. Don’t be such a pussy about it.” Kokichi yawned and Nagito’s head snapped up.

                “How do you know that I hate working here?”

                “Well you’re obviously bored. That’s why you’re messing stuff up, right? Just quit and work somewhere else.” Kokichi did the same thing when he was bored. He _hated_ boring and when things got that way, he’d do anything, even somethin destructive just to fix it. Nagito laughed bitterly.

                “Hm. You have a point. I just happened to get the job on accident and it paid so well and I have unlimited vacation, and... Must’ve been luck.” He didn’t sound like he thought he was lucky. “But I really don’t hate it here. There’s enough to keep even someone as boring and ungrateful as me from getting bored.”

                “So you’re just causing issues to get in your boss’ pants?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow and Nagito didn’t seem surprised he’d noticed. His gaze flitted to Hajime at his desk, working diligently and chatting with a young woman next to him, who had tetris open on her computer.

                “He’s engaged. But I’m... I’m an optimist.” Nagito sat up suddenly and looked back at the manuscript and Kokichi. “You’ve given me some hope. I’ll look over this, but I can’t guarantee anything. Hajime will make the ultimate decision, anyway. I’m just here as a filter. But I’ll read it.” Nagito and Kokichi shared a glance, before he stood up and left the publications office, grin set on his face like concrete.

 

* * *

 

 

                **R u on ur way home??** Kokichi texted Shuichi, impatiently.

                **About to be, why?**

                **Ive got a surprise 4 u~~~~** Kokichi responded, grinning devilishly behind the screen.

                **Kokichi, please do not tie yourself to the bed, again. The maid’s coming tonight and I can’t explain that for a second time.** He could almost hear Shuichi’s worried voice. _Nishishi_. He didn’t respond, just made himself some tea and waited. If this worked, then he’d finally feel like he was contributing something, too.

                Shuichi got home fifteen minutes later, bursting through the door. He saw Kokichi and let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank God. You’re not naked.”

                “Hm. That’s not a phrase I like hearing, Shuichi. That’s pretty meeaann.” He pouted.

                “No-er, no! I don’t mean like that, I meant... You know what I’m trying to say.” He put his briefcase down and walked to the table, sitting down beside Kokichi. He looked tired. While the promotion he’d gotten on their trip had been a huge step up in salary and what he did, Shuichi explained that it required much more work than before. He usually came home tired. “So what’s the big surprise?”

                “I dunno if I should tell you.” Kokichi frowned, looking away coyly.

                “Now _that_ is mean.” Shuichi laughed back at him.

                “Alright, alright, you got me Shuichi. So I went on a lil field trip today and I totes got a publisher to read your book!” Kokichi said it casually, shrugging nonchalantly. Shuichi’s eyes widened before any other part of him could react.

                “You-wha... Ah, I, er, how? W-what? I, uh...” Shuichi stammered, blinking stupidly at Kokichi’s slyly grinning face. He shrugged again.

                “Well they weren’t going to, but then they said it was just _so good_ that they couldn’t totally overlook it, so...” Kokichi stood up to match Shuichi, who’d jumped up in his excitement. Shuichi grabbed Kokichi’s face and kissed him hard. He wasn’t even sure what words he could use so he just let his body go into autopilot. He ran his hand through Kokichi’s hair and down his sides, trying to absorb him into himself. This terrible, lying, little bastard was the biggest Godsend of his life.

                Kokichi kissed back instantly and smiled playfully back up at him. Kokichi was always cute. He knew he was, too. But right then, Kokichi looked almost the best that Shuichi had ever seen him. The Taj Mahal would have looked like a Lego set next to him. As Shuichi pulled him towards the bedroom, they were stumbling over each other and kissing as they went. Kokichi landed on the bed with a soft sound and suddenly stared up at Shuichi with a terrified expression. Shuichi froze momentarily. Had he done something wrong? Hurt Kokichi? After what Kokichi had just done for him? “What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked, taking a step closer.

                “You’re the great detective Saihara! I’ve been caught!” Kokichi gasped, putting a hand up in defense. Shuichi was silent; confused. Was Kokichi hallucinating? “And to think I’d almost gotten away with stealing the country’s most valuable piece of art.” Kokichi shook his head, sadly. _The plot_ , Shuichi suddenly realized. _He’s describing the plot of my book_. His mouth went dry.

                “You never would’ve gotten away, Kokichi.” Shuichi muttered, reaching under the bed for something before he cornered Kokichi, leaning over him. “Are we really gonna do this?” He whispered. Kokichi snorted and then looked back up at him.

                “Do what, _Mister detective?_ ” He feigned innocence and tilted his head. “Use your special torture methods on me? I’ve heard the rumors, y’know.” Kokichi leaned back, looking confident as ever. Shuichi realized with sudden clarity that Kokichi would look just like that even if the scenario was real. In some alternative universe, where Kokichi really was a famous criminal, being cornered by a detective like Shuichi, he’d be just as manipulative and confident as he was right there. It was a strange thing to notice, but something about it made Shuichi both comforted and turned on. Kokichi had a strange effect on him.

                “And what do those rumors say?” He breathed, fighting the urge to ruin the little game and kiss Kokichi softly.

                “That you don’t turn your criminals over to the police. That you interrogate them on your own... with _special_ techniques.” Kokichi enunciated every word in a way that made Shuichi’s dick twitch in anticipation. _Fuck_. He thought. Shuichi reached to what he’d brought from under the bed and snapped the handcuffs onto one of Kokichi’s wrists.

                “Well did you expect mercy? You’re a ruthless criminal, aren’t you?” Shuichi wasn’t as good with the dirty talk as Kokichi. He wouldn’t attempt to be. But just his going along with it was enough for Kokichi to feel a rise in himself. “Now... Tell me where the painting is or you’ll regret it.” He waited for Kokichi’s response, but just saw a quick smirk dance across his lips.

                “I’m never going to talk.” He laughed lightly and Shuichi looped the handcuffs around the bedpost behind them before snapping the other one on to Kokichi’s body. He really did look like a cornered criminal with the handcuffs and his wild gaze that had settled on Shuichi. Shuichi wondered absent-mindedly if it felt this good to be a real detective.

                Shuichi had realized as he spent more time with Kokichi that his very hidden affection for minor bondage was very convenient to have with Kokichi as a boyfriend. He was wily and unpredictable, like a wild animal. Keeping Kokichi in one place or stopping him from completely controlling every move the two made, like some sort of game, was nearly impossible. But when he was tied down physically, he seemed much more emotionally anchored as well. In addition, Shuichi had started to notice that it helped with Kokichi’s habit of disappearing during sex. Not literally disappearing, but just not being Kokichi. He _became_ sex. Focusing on him or too much eye contact or personal conversations during were thrown aside. If Shuichi shifted the attention to Kokichi during sex, it was like he didn’t know what to do and he just got flustered in a way that Shuichi never saw in him anywhere else. That perfect barrier he’d spent so long building up would finally crumble for just a few, sweet minutes.

                Shuichi unbuttoned Kokichi’s shirt agonizingly slow, staying silent and only stealing a few quick glances at Kokichi’s red stained cheeks and half lidded eyes. When it was fully undone, he pulled down Kokichi’s pants and attached his mouth to his stomach and kissed him there as he started at Kokichi’s boxers.

                “If you think I’m hiding the painting on me then you’re a pretty dumb detective.” Kokichi damn near giggled and Shuichi looked back up at him, eyes surprisingly confident and assertive.

                “Hm.” His response was simple, but he could feel it affect Kokichi. He grabbed him once his boxers were down and prepped him at the same time, trying to pay as close attention to his reactions as he knew Kokichi did to him. When he was ready, Shuichi pushed in, sighing in pleasure and relief. When his eyes opened, he saw Kokichi sprawled out in front of him and he thought about closing his eyes just so he could open them again. The sex, happy as it was, was not too different from any other night, besides the detective roleplay. Shuichi was the first to break character, as he’d figured he would be. He leaned in, closing the distance between him and Kokichi and resting his head in the space between his head and where his arms stretched to meet the headboard. “You couldn’t have stolen the prettiest art in the country, anyway.” Shuichi mumbled, breaths breaking up his sentence. Kokichi tried not to moan long enough to respond.

                “Why not? _Ah_ , a-are you insulting my, ah, abilities as a thief?” Kokichi panted, watching Shuichi from the corner of his eye. Shuichi shook his head.

                “No, it’s because it’s you.” Shuichi’s voice was almost lost in the chaos of their sex and he instantly wished it had been. His face burned red. Had he really said something _that_ cheesy and terrible? How old were they? _Kokichi’s never gonna let me live that one down_. He thought bitterly, but before he had time to try and play it off or pretend he hadn’t said it, Kokichi’s eyes widened and his thighs trembled. “ _Ah, Shuichi_!” He managed before falling into release, untouched. Shuichi pulled out, eyes trained on Kokichi. The first time he’d seen Kokichi unraveled and post-coitus like this, he’d wanted to save the memory forever. He suddenly remembered why. Kokichi’s face was tinted a dark red and his long lashes were almost closed in what was left of the pleasure. His eyes were lazy and unfocused, almost unrecognizable without their usual malicious glow. Shuichi finished himself off, quickly, collapsing on top of Kokichi’s slender body. He stayed there for a few seconds before he heard a light sniffling noise. He felt something wet on his shoulder.

                Shuichi straightened up, immediately, undoing the handcuffs and curling over Kokichi. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He was surprised to find Kokichi crying much harder than he would have thought. He checked his wrists to make sure the restraints hadn’t been too tight. Kokichi just shook his head and pulled Shuichi back to him, burying his head in his chest and continuing to cry. They were crocodile tears like his act, but something told Shuichi these were different. These were real.

                _Why’d he have to say something like that?_ Kokichi thought to himself, trying desperately to find someone to blame for his embarrassing outburst. _Why am I so worked up? It wasn’t even_ that _great of a compliment_. When he’d first said it, Kokichi had been taken so off guard by the kind words that he’d orgasmed. _No one_ had ever said anything like that to him. _You’re so dumb, you’re so dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Crying like a baby ‘cause someone said something nice about you?!_ Kokichi’s inner monologue was going on a tangent. But deep down, he knew why he was crying. No one had ever said something like that to Kokichi. He’d always been a troublemaker or annoying. Something to use and be done with or something someone was forced to deal with. He’d never been _art_ to someone, before. Kokichi had almost hoped Shuichi was just being nice to him because he was a good person. That would let Kokichi’s inner justice system of the way the world works make sense. But if Shuichi was really starting to care about him, then... that scale was thrown off. No one had ever just been nice because of Kokichi, before. Why was Shuichi so different? Why wouldn’t he ever fit into the little boxes in Kokichi’s head?

                Above him, Shuichi was still trying to find the source of the crying, looking around desperately. Kokichi hiccupped. “Shuichi-“

                “Yes?”

                “You’re... you’re so nice.” He didn’t like the words he chose. They didn’t convey at all what he was trying to say, but Kokichi was used to that. Shuichi seemed to relax, realizing the tears weren’t from injury. He stroked Kokichi’s hair and kissed his forehead.

                “Sorry, I should’ve thought of a better compliment if it was this important to you.” He blushed.

                Kokichi just stayed silent, trying to regain the persona he’d built up. “It was a little cheesy.” He finally frowned and Shuichi laughed, pulling the blanket over both of them. Shuichi turned off the light and was curling into bed again when Kokichi finally found the courage to speak up, again. “Hey Shuichi?”

                “Mhm?”

                “Why’d you change your mind about me?” Kokichi asked, running his fingers idly up and down Shuichi’s chest like a little chase. “The day we left the retreat, you agreed with me that I’d be too hard to live with. But you’ve been fine with it since the hospital.” Kokichi’s face was calm and he was looking away, the wet tracks of his tears finally settling. “Was it just seeing my all vulnerable in the cold?” He laughed, sounding almost a little bitter with the suggestion. Shuichi paused. He had to be careful with his words.

                “I hadn’t realized what living without you was like. It was so quiet and boring. You’re a handful, Kokichi, but you add color to my life.” Shuichi planted a kiss on Kokichi’s forehead, softly, petting his hair as he went. “I love-“ Shuichi started, eliciting a gasp from Kokichi. “That about you. What’s wrong?” He frowned and Kokichi realized his mistake.

                “Ah, nothing, I just got cold for a second.” Kokichi lied, pulling himself closer to Shuichi. He wasn’t sure why the thought of Shuichi saying he loved him was so terrifying. Many of the men who had paid to be with Kokichi had something along those lines, some of them even being dumb enough to really believe it. But it had never bothered Kokichi. That was their own issue; not his. Shuichi had fallen asleep, curled protectively around Kokichi with his eyes closed peacefully. Kokichi stared at him for a few seconds, letting the little computer in his brain whir to life and try to decipher what was going on inside himself. When he realized the answer, he shuddered.

                _I would’ve said it back_. Kokichi realized with worrying clarity and then felt his blood run cold. He, the great Kokichi Ouma, was growing soft. His only protection in life was the barriers he’d built up to protect himself from emotions and now he was tearing them down because of a boy? _I mean, a cute, rich, nice boy who writes and keeps sex interesting -wait, shut up!_ Kokichi’s mind was in a panic. He mumbled Shuichi’s name, seeing if he’d respond. He was too asleep to notice. Kokichi crawled out from under him and pulled his clothes on. He packed a bag silently and then took some money from Shuichi’s wallet. He took one last look around the apartment before giving himself the small mercy of a final look at Shuichi, who was breathing evenly and sleeping like a kitten. Kokichi felt a pang in his heart. He threw his bag over his shoulder and left, closing the door behind him.

                He wandered the streets, trying desperately not to think until he found himself at the bar. He did his best not to remember meeting Shuichi there and walked inside, greeting the bartender. Kokichi didn’t explain his situation. He just sat down at the bar and put his head down, falling asleep almost instantly. The bartender made no move to wake him up until the morning customers had started filing in, looking depressed. _Jeez, drinking at eight am? At least I’m not_ that _bad_. Kokichi thought to himself. The bartender’s shift was over and he was leaving. Kokichi glanced out the window and saw Shuichi walking briskly down the sidewalk towards the bar, face grim. _Shit_.

                “I’m not here and you never saw me.” He whispered to the other bartender, who’d just appeared, and dropped behind the other side of the counter, out of view from most patrons. Kokichi liked this bartender. His name was Gundham and he made up weird stories about hamsters and demons, but he was an alright guy. He’d cover for Kokichi. The doorbell jingled and Shuichi strode in, heading straight for the bar.

                “Where’s Kokichi?”

                “He’s not here.” Gundham shook his head, solemnly.

                “Bullshit.” Shuichi sounded genuinely stressed, which confused Kokichi. Maybe it was because he’d taken the money? “But... just... fine. When he comes around here, tell him to call me or _something_ at least so I know he’s okay. He doesn’t have much money on him and I don’t know where he could even be. I just don’t want him getting hurt.” Shuichi’s voice was raw like he had a cold. Kokichi thought about jumping up, _ta-da! Haha, Shuichi, you should’ve seen your face! You totally fell for my prank, hahahaha!_ But he didn’t. He stayed quiet and listened to his heartbeat angrily at him. He was pretty sure most parts of him were angry with him right now. He hadn’t just given up food and warmth, but he’d given up other things... He’d given up Shuichi. He wasn’t even sure why. But the thought of... being so close to someone. Feeling so strongly for someone, like you would do anything in the world for them. That was too scary and way too dangerous. Kokichi didn’t want to be a human like that. He’d take anger and bitterness over weakness. It was his best bet at survival, anyway.

                Shuichi called the bar later that night and stopped by again the next morning. Kokichi realized he couldn’t rely on the place, anymore, so he moved back to the streets. He was quickly realizing how much harder it was to live without a home when you’d already had one, before. Sometimes he caught himself almost walking to Shuichi’s when the weather was cold or he was a little drunk. And suddenly, everything seemed to remind him of Shuichi in an annoying way. The street where Shuichi had taken Kokichi in, the restaurant where they’d talked about themselves, even the goddamn hospital Kokichi had to walk by every day. Kokichi was fairly sure he’d pissed God off a long time ago, but he was starting to think he’d done something to make Him _especially_ mad.

                When the money ran out, he ended up back in his dangerous cycle. He’d fight or he’d fuck and hope he’d get enough out of the deal to buy food or a motel room. He caught a glimpse of himself in a motel mirror after a rendezvous with a client and realized how bad things had gotten again. His eyes were darker and his skin paler. There was still that defiant gleam in them that had gotten him in trouble so many times, but he was starting to wonder when that would die out, too. At least he’d managed to avoid confronting Shuichi for about two months. He figured it was finally time for him return to the bar and get somewhere warm.

 

* * *

 

 

                The bar was strangely empty, so Kokichi wondered if it was a weeknight. He remembered seeing it was a Thursday in the newspaper. Gundham seemed surprised to see Kokichi back, but he said nothing, just poured him a drink. Kokichi sank into the barstool and sighed. The door jingled, but Kokichi didn’t bother turning around. He just wanted to drink and maybe sleep before getting out, again.

                “K-Kokichi?” Shuichi’s voice echoed off the low ceiling. _Fuck_. Kokichi turned around slowly, eyes wide. He didn’t say anything. “I... where have you been? Are you alright? W-“

                “I’m fine.” Kokichi cut him off. He wanted to just go home with Shuichi. Pretend nothing had ever happened. But he reminded himself that his dependence on Shuichi was the whole reason this had started. Kokichi wasn’t built to be with other people, he was built to survive on his own. He was smart and skilled, and his dabbles in trouble had never hurt him too bad. But loving someone would just lead to the path where Kokichi ends up betrayed and alone or leeching relentlessly off of someone else his whole life. Kokichi would rather die than suffer either of those two results.

                Shuichi’s eyes searched his face for some stray emotion or giveaway, but if there was one thing Kokichi Ouma was good at, it was deceiving. He knew his face was as neutral as it would be in death. “One hour, I’ll pay you. I just want to talk.” Shuichi’s face was a mix of too many emotions.

                “Hmph. Little presumptuous to think you can win me over with money, huh Shuichi?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow, but Shuichi wasn’t fazed. He knew these tricks, already.

                “1,500. I have it, in cash.” Shuichi waited for a response. _Okay, maybe he_ can _buy me out._ Kokichi thought, staying silent. “You told me that you take four hundred a night at the most. That’s me paying as three people. I know you’re smart enough to take the offer, Kokichi.” He added when the shorter man hesitated.

                “I’ll take the money for sex, not a heart to heart.” Kokichi finally said, quietly. Shuichi bit his bottom lip, the gears in his head turning.

                “Okay.” He nodded and Kokichi could sense there was something brewing behind those pretty eyes. But money was money and he knew Shuichi wouldn’t hurt him. Kokichi followed him to his car without another word and endured the drive to his home, in terrible silence. They walked up to Shuichi apartment and he unlocked the door. Kokichi didn’t wait around, he went straight to the bedroom. He needed to get this over with or he’d end up begging Shuichi to not be mad at him, anymore and probably do something embarrassing and weak. Shuichi was uncharacteristically stoic and Kokichi was fairly certain his brain was too focused on whatever his little plan was to try and display emotion, too. Shuichi pushed him onto the bed and grabbed the handcuffs from the last time they’d had sex. “Can I use these?”

                “Uh, sure?” Kokichi was caught off guard by the question. Were they going to pretend like they’d never had sex, before? The money was barely worth it if it was going to be _this_ awkward. Shuichi snapped the bindings on his wrist and then took a step back.

                “I just need to know that you’re okay. It’s fine if you don’t want to be with me, I just want to know why you left-“

                “Shuichi, what the hell are you talking about? I thought we were having sex, not talking?” Kokichi snapped.

                “No, we don’t need to have sex, I just wanted to make sure that you have somewhere you’re living and that you’re not fighting, anymore. As soon as I know, I’ll let you out and you can leave.” Shuichi seemed troubled by his own plan. “I’m sorry, I... I just know that if you weren’t in handcuffs, you’d just run away and if I hadn’t said sex, then you wouldn’t have come. And that bartender said you’ve been gone for two months from the bar, and I was so scared, I-I.... I thought you got hurt, again.” Shuichi rubbed his wrist, looking at the floor. Kokichi shook the handcuffs, trying to remember where they kept the spare key.

                “Quit screwing around, let me out.” Kokichi grumbled. He couldn’t lockpick while he was locked up. “Shuichi, handcuffs or not, you can’t _make_ me talk.” He tried, but Shuichi stayed stubborn. “Jeez. What do you want? I’ll do whatever if you let me out. I mean it. We can take bondage a step further, yeah? I’ll suck your dick blindfolded-“

                “We’re back at square one.”

                “What?”

                “You’re just using sex as a way to distance yourself from me or change my mind, Kokichi. I-I know you too well for that to work. I just... Why are you so mad? Why did you leave? Did... Did I hurt you or piss you off? I just, I don’t understand.” Shuichi sounded defeated and Kokichi noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Kokichi fell silent. He hadn’t ever thought Shuichi would really be this hurt over him leaving. He’d known Shuichi had thought he cared, but he’d thought that once he was out of the picture, someone else would come along and distract him. Shuichi waited a few more seconds, staring at Kokichi with a sad look in his eyes, until he finally sighed. “You’re right. You’ll never talk if you don’t want to. I’m sorry, Kokichi. I-I’ll let you go, now.” Shuichi took a step towards the bed and Kokichi’s brain was running a million miles an hour.

                Shuichi giving him a place to stay. Shuichi buying him clothes. Shuichi really, genuinely wanting to know about him on that trip. Shuichi saving his life. Shuichi bothering to look for him when he disappeared. _No no no no no. Please stop thinking. Stop being weak, dammit! You’re losing your own game of life on purpose right now, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!_ Kokichi’s thoughts were berating him. Shuichi took another step closer, grabbing the key off the nightstand. Kokichi’s jaw trembled and he balled his fists. “I-I’m sorry.” Kokichi mumbled, looking away, avoiding eye contact desperately. Shuichi stopped for just a moment.

                “It’s fine.” He shook his head. Kokichi could tell there was a part of Shuichi that was defeated, but there was a distinct lack of anger in his words. Or pity. Just unrelenting worry. Kokichi shivered and took a deep breath. He tried to hold in his outburst, but it seemed like the dam of lies he’s built up his whole life was finally crumbling down and he couldn’t hold back the dangerous truth, anymore. He couldn’t hold himself back.

                “Shuichi, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me. I-I didn’t wanna hurt you... I just got scared a-and I didn’t wanna get hurt and then y-you were being so nice and I felt good with you but that made me so weak-“ Kokichi’s voice was tumbling out of his mouth and Shuichi was watching with wide eyes. He froze and then finally seemed to shake back into reality.

                “Kokichi, I’m not mad and I wouldn’t hurt you, you know that.” Shuichi was scared of what had caused the outburst. Kokichi never got like this except that one time when he thought Shuichi was going to kick him out.

                “Shuichi... I knew you were gonna get bored. I didn’t wanna wait around until that happened.” Kokichi shook his head, thoughtfully.

                “How would I get bored of you?” Shuichi blinked. “You’re the most exciting thing in my life, Kokichi.” He started, surprised at Kokichi’s shocked reaction. “I already told you, you bring the color into my life. Before we met, I just worked and slept. You convinced me to stop overthinking things and to start playing around instead of just keeping my head down. Kokichi, you’re not perfect, but the thing you’re farthest from is being boring.” Shuichi frowned. Kokichi’s face turned red. He hesitated, not answering for a while.

                “But, but I’m terrible. I lie and I hide and I manipulate you all the time and the only thing I bring to the table is sex. I don’t get why you want to keep me around. No one does, why are you so bent on it?” Kokichi finally stammered.

                “Of course I want to keep you around, I... I love you, okay? Is it that hard to figure out? I don’t love you for your lies or sex or anything else, I love _you_.” Shuichi’s voice was loud and Kokichi gasped.

                “Saihara loves me?” He asked, almost like he didn’t believe it. Kokichi’s face burned an even brighter shade of red. He felt like his skin was on fire and he wished it would stop so he didn’t look so dumb in front of Shuichi. “I-I don’t understand.” He finally faltered.

                “Because you’re funny and you keep me on my toes,” Shuichi started, thinking before he spoke. “You’re smart. Almost a little scarily so. You never give up and you always have a plan-“

                “Ah, stop it.” Kokichi stammered, face burning and eyes wide. Shuichi’s lips quirked up, playfully.

                “And you’re cute and determined. When things go wrong, you know what to do. You always say thank you for breakfast, even though I make it every day. You got my book published.” Shuichi went on, watching Kokichi’s reactions. _S-stop getting so flustered, idiot. He’s just complimenting you, you can handle it, jeez_. Kokichi’s inner voice was groaning.

                “Iluvyutoo.” Kokichi mumbled.

                “Hm?”

                “I love you, you big idiot.” Kokichi finally said, looking away. Shuichi put a hand on his jaw, his face happier and warmer than Kokichi was sure he’d ever seen. “Er, Shuichi? Do you mind letting me out, now.” Kokichi rattled the handcuffs and Shuichi jumped back.

                “Oh my God, I forgot. I’m sorry.” He hastened to unlock them and Kokichi watched him, holding back a laugh. He’d gotten very lucky with Shuichi. When he was free, he wrapped his arms around Shuichi, closing his eyes contently. “Please don’t run away, again.” Shuichi mumbled into his hair.

                “Psh. Better keep things interesting around here, then.” Kokichi shot back, playfully. _Oh thank God, he’s back. This is the Kokichi I know_. Shuichi thought to himself. “Hey wait... Your book got published?”

                “Hm? Oh yeah. They called a few days after you left and I went in. That’s also part of why I wanted to talk to you; I wanted to thank you.” Shuichi smiled and Kokichi smiled right back. Kokichi suddenly straightened up, rubbing his wrists.

                “Um, Shuichi...?” Kokichi started, looking out the window. “I-Is it okay if I move back in here?” He finally looked back into Shuichi’s eyes, surprised to find a pool of warmth in them.

                “Yeah.” Shuichi said simply. “But before that, do you need something to eat? You look even skinnier than the last time I saw you.” Shuichi laughed quietly and stood up.

                “Ah, sorry. I’ve been fasting, y’know for religion and stuff.”

                “Mhm.” Shuichi raised an eyebrow and started walking to the kitchen. Kokichi snorted. He’d missed this life. He shrugged off his coat and sat at the island while Shuichi cooked them both dinner, talking about some current event that Kokichi had read about in the newspaper. When Shuichi sat at the island as well, he stopped for a moment. “Kokichi...” He started, but didn’t seem to know where to go with what he was saying. Kokichi followed his gaze to his wrists and arms, which were snaked up and down with bruises.

                “Hahaha, sorry, Shuichi. I actually tried to learn how to bullwhip like Indiana Jones, y’know? Got a little too ambitious and got myself. Not a big-“ Kokichi stopped. Judging from Shuichi’s face, he wasn’t buying any of it. Kokichi frowned, but said nothing. There was silence for a little while until Kokichi couldn’t take it, anymore. “I swear I didn’t do anything too bad, really. If you’re mad about me sleeping with other guys-“

                “Kokichi! I’m not mad, I’m _worried_. You didn’t take much money with you, I understand you’d need to get some, but I’m just worried that you got hurt.” Shuichi shook his head and pushed Kokichi’s sleeves up to get a better look. When he saw the bruises seemed to be the extent of the damage, he sighed in relief and let go of Kokichi. “You have no idea how worried I was. I thought you’d gotten like how you did that one time with the hypothermia but no one had found you. I... I dunno. I just needed you to be safe.”

                The words were like burning little arrows through Kokichi’s heart. “Awww, you were worried about me, Shuichi?” He laughed it off as a joke, but his heart was singing. _He cares about me_ was playing in his head like a mantra. After dinner, Shuichi stood up and pulled Kokichi to the bedroom. “Hahaha, jeez. Excited much, Shuichi? Although I guess I _was_ gone for like, two months. You must be suuupperrr pent-up, huh?” Kokichi giggled. As soon as they got to the bedroom, however, Shuichi didn’t tear Kokichi’s clothes off or pounce on him like he’d expected. Shuichi pushed Kokichi to the bed and just hugged him, tightly. “Jeez, you’re heavier than you look, I can barely breathe.” Kokichi struggled, but he heard a soft noise and stopped. “Oh shit, don’t cry, Shuichi. Please don’t cry, I don’t know what to do when people cry, erm.” Kokichi just patted Shuichi’s head, gently. “H-hey, I’m back. No need to worry.”

                “I love you. I love you so much, Kokichi.” Shuichi finally mumbled into Kokichi’s shirt, quietly. Kokichi blushed profusely. “You’re so cute.” Shuichi chuckled.

                “Am not! That’s not even fair, you surprised me!”

                “Wait.” Shuichi stopped, looking up at Kokichi with a playful expression. “Are you saying that I surprised, the great Kokichi Ouma?”

                “... Maybe.” Kokichi grumbled. He ran a hand through Shuichi’s hair, quietly. “I’m not gonna change, though, Shuichi. I can’t just... stop lying or being unpredictable or whatever. That’s just who I am.” Kokichi sighed, staring ahead with a defeated expression. He wouldn’t blame Shuichi for getting too frustrated eventually. “I’m not going to change.” He repeated, more for himself than the other man. Shuichi straightened up underneath him.

                “You better not change.” Shuichi sounded almost offended, a small pout on his face. Kokichi snorted. Maybe, just maybe, being weak was worth being in love. Maybe it could be nice to let his barriers down for a little bit every once and a while.

                But a little while turned into months. Shuichi’s everlasting patience seemed to never break and Kokichi’s ability to keep life interesting never waned in the slightest. Shuichi had started to forget what it was ever like to be in desperate search for love, surviving through failed date after failed date. It was always a gamble taking Kokichi out, since he still couldn’t predict the smaller man to save his life, but it was the kind of gamble he found himself always willing to make. Kokichi was finding himself settling down, but without the fear of it that he’d always felt. He didn’t stop lying, because that would be giving up Kokichi, himself, but the lies weren’t protection, anymore. Shuichi was his protection. Things were good and all was well.


End file.
